Adoption journey

Well, it's time for another post. I've been anxiously anticipating this post. The photos in this post were actually taken at the beginning of February, but due to the sensitivity of the situation I had to withhold posting them. But, the day has finally come. Many of you that follow me on FB have asked for the whole story, so I thought I'd share most of it on here. Only our closest friends & family know every detail, but for the most part I can share our journey on here. 

To begin this journey I must first introduce you to the main character, Ms. Paisley Ruth. She was born January 30, 2012. It was one of the best days of our lives, besides the birth of our other 2 children. This was a unique birth though since I didn't personally go through it. That's right, we adopted Paisley. And, without further ado, here she is, our beautiful #3! 

This was her laying with me at the hospital the day she was born. If you can tell she is a tad orange because she did have some jaundice due to her low birth weight. She weighed in at a whopping 5lbs. 5.8 oz. :) I guess whopping may be the wrong word haha! It was such an amazing experience being on the other end of the birthing process. Kind of a relief actually! I was worried about the whole bonding thing, but as soon as she entered the world I knew she was meant to be mine & I have loved her as such every minute since then. 

It was a wild, exciting, & exhausting journey adopting this sweet little one, but in the end it has been worth every second of stress, heartache, & joy as well. It cost more than we could have ever imagined, but we trusted God the whole way. First, another picture of this beauty before the story really begins. 

Okay, so the journey began back in September of 2011 for us when we were presented with the opportunity to adopt. The birth mother was struggling and she knew she would not be able to care for Paisley. After only minutes of consideration my husband & I knew what our answer would be. We have always preached the pro-life message, but now we had to actually put actions to our words! What choice did we have?!?! But, overall it was an easy decision. We have been blessed with 2 of our own children, but we knew this was the right path to go to have the third child we always wanted. I had always wanted to adopt, but my husband had never really considered it. When it came time to do this though he jumped in 100% and has already been an amazing father to Paisley. Despite his reservations he lead this family through the whole process and was my rock during times of stress & worry. I knew God had something amazing in store for us when I married Nate, but I had no idea that this was what it was going to be.

Look at Daddy go! 

The journey has not been without it's struggles though. Many people doubted it would happen for us & at times we even doubted that it would all work out, but what a test of faith it was. We had to continually remind ourselves that this was the path God put us on & He would reward us for following. And, that He did! One of the most amazing parts of this journey was watching our friends that God put on this journey as well. What felt like such a lonely journey at times was actually full of fellow passengers. As we followed the path we watched as God worked in others as well. We had friends praying for us constantly from all around the world, encouraging & supporting us every step of the way. Multiple friends gifted us financially without us even asking and without thought of being re-payed, simply because God had called them to be a part of this as well. Strangers payed for our hotel when we went for the birth, supervisors gave my husband basically unlimited time off to get everything situated before coming back, and friends left frozen meals in my freezer for me to return home to so I wouldn't have to worry about cooking for days. And, of course our family provided us with a place to stay and food to eat for almost a month. 

I'm ashamed to say that at many times I doubted God throughout the process. I spent nights lying awake crying my eyes out wondering if it would really happen. But, despite my weakness in my faith He still came through. When God wants something done, it happens despite our fears, but the reward is much more fulfilling when received in faith. 

These precious little feet say it all. God had a plan for this sweet little life that was going to happen regardless of my own ups & downs. 

Speaking of ups & downs, that's life isn't it?? I should give the back story for those of you that don't know it. We've all heard the verse that God works for the good of those who love Him, but at times we can't see what that good is. When we first moved to NM back in 2010 we had our hearts set on not staying here long at all. My husband wanted to re-train into SERE for the Air Force which would move us to Washington state. After months of waiting to get his flying class/medical clearance he was denied due to his bad hearing. He tried & tried, but it just wasn't going to happen for us. He was heartbroken & I was crushed. There is nothing worse than seeing your husband broken & disappointed. This was soon followed by a diagnosis of endometriosis in me. I had surgery to have some of it cauterized & we began trying for child #3. We found out in January of 2011 that we were finally pregnant again. It was so exciting for us & felt like such a huge relief after the disappointment of 2010. However, it wasn't meant to be. A couple of months later I suffered a miscarriage. It was harder to handle than I ever thought it would be. So, 2011 wasn't shaping up to be much better. We pressed on though & kept trying again, but it wasn't happening for us. I finally made peace with our situation--we would be in NM for a while & I would be content with the 2 amazing children I already had, then it happened, & now you know the rest. God really does work for our good, but sometimes it takes years of heartache to learn what that good really is. Some suffer far more than this & I can only imagine the kind of faith they have to have to push through, but God gives us what we can each handle & He also puts us all on different journeys because we are all uniquely different. 

Many battles have been won in this journey, but the war is far from over. We still have months until it is completely finalized & then years of learning how to parent an adopted child equally, but still differently. She will have many struggles herself, but hopefully we can wrap her in so much love & care that she has the strength to power through. She has an awesome older brother & sister to help her along the way & an amazing extended family to support her as well that includes all of our friends & loved ones. 

She is already so loved by her Dad & me so much! The journey has been a blast so far & I can't wait to see how life turns out for all of us. 

She is such a sweet girl already I can't wait to share in this life with her as her mother & see the woman that she becomes one day. 

She also knows already how to have some fun, she fits into this family well! 

I never thought I'd be a stay-at-home military wife, especially of 3 kids, but here I am! I am loving every second of it, even through the times I want to pull out all my hair! It helps to have such an awesome husband, amazing friends, & loving family through it all though. 

I hope this story has brought some encouragement to your life. If there is a path you feel God drawing you towards, even though you may not want to take it, go. It may be full of heartache & struggles, but in the end I can promise you that it is worth it! 

*All images are property of MaggieLouPhotography; do NOT download, crop, or alter in any way*

Door #1 or Door #2???

Well, I'm finally around to my second blog post. Life gets so crazy busy sometimes it's hard to catch a moment to just have a seat at the computer and let my mind wander. But, alas, I have finally found a few minutes to get this done. I took this series of pictures a few weeks ago, but have just now found the time to edit them & get them posted. These pictures were taken in Tularosa, NM--a town about 30 minutes from the base we live at. I'm sure years ago the town was pretty amazing, but sadly the wonderfully eclectic downtown has very few shops that remain open. However, the town still offers a mecca of photography backgrounds which is great for me & my fellow photographers around here. Every time I roam the streets looking for spots to take my clients I'm drawn to the many beautiful doorways. For those that have been to spots in New Mexico like Santa Fe or Taos you know what I'm talking about. New Mexico is hard to adjust to living in, but the beauty is not easily missed. The adobe style homes & buildings in northern New Mexico are not so easily found in the southern end of the state. But, Tularosa offers a nice little New Mexican oasis in the middle of this desolate desert area. 

Anyway, continuing on. As I was taking photos recently of a precious little 2-year-old I decided to start taking quick snapshots of all the doorways along the way so you could have a nice little window or should I say doorway into my photography life :). I thought it would be nice to have a little collection of photos on these beautiful doorways, but as I went along & later began my editing process I realized how much this study relates to all our lives. I learned quickly how powerful photos of such simple architecture can become--especially for those of us in the military. Life offers us so many doorways to walk through on our path that often we are overwhelmed by the choices. Do we go to this base or that? Should we try to change jobs or stick this one out? Do we re-enlist or get out & try to find an equal or better job in the civilian world? Do I stay home with the kids or work? What school do we send the kids to? I could go on & on & on, but I won't bore you. Choices like these have been at the forefront of our family's mind lately, so this photo study on doors came at just the right time. 

 So, for the first doorway... My first door was a simple door that sits on the side of one of my favorite photo shoot locations. At first I wasn't very fond of this photo, but as I edited it I really ended up liking it because I felt like I took it at the angle of someone walking up to it about to open the door & walk in. Sometimes in life we know exactly which door God wants us to choose. He leaves the choice for us, but we all know what it feels like to open the handle & walk-in exactly where we were supposed to. 

On the other hand, sometimes the door we choose may be locked & the windows barred. The sunlight & brightness are inviting, but that doesn't always mean it's the way to go. In the past few years my husband & I have approached many locked doors thinking they were the right choice for us. It was heartbreaking at times, but looking back we now know why. It is an immense struggle in the moment trying to understand why a door was locked when that path felt so right. There is a meaning in everything though, even the hard times, and eventually we can look back and understand the promise that our Father works all things according to his GOOD & wonderful plan. 

At other times in life we see others go through doors that we wish we could. But, sometimes there is just no way for us to even get in the door. We each have our own paths to walk that work according to His plan, but often it is easy to get caught up in the fantasy of living someone else's life. Wondering "what if" is only a stumbling block we all have to work to avoid. For now my path is to stay-at-home with my children & support my husband, even if it means living in this dry desert for longer than I had hoped. Watching friends move away from me & other distant friends getting the exact assignment they want is difficult, but I will walk this path by faith & one day I will enter that glorious doorway in the end & can only hope that I will be greeted with a "Well done". 

This door is quite possibly my favorite doorway I've ever encountered not only in New Mexico, but out of everywhere else I've ever been. It is so unique, so beautiful, and holds it's own special mysterious story. The contrast of colors makes it simply breathtaking. The oval windows & the reflections offered make it a fun prop as well. It's age reminds me of the doorways in our lives that many have gone through before us & many will go through after. We all have our own path in life, but often those paths cross, & often we are all meant to go through the same doorway at some point or another. Whether it's the amazingly happy doorway of marriage, or the painful doorway of losing a loved one--we all must walk through a similar doorway. Knowing that others have gone before me makes it that much easier when it's a painful doorway and it also assures me that once I have made it through I can then hold my hand out & help someone who must come after me. 

I have the unique privilege of being a military wife. At times it is difficult being away from friends & family, but I also am blessed to make so many new friends that are scattered around the world so I always have somewhere I can crash if I need to  :). I am able to make friends with so many women--some that are much older than me & some that are younger. Together we help each other through those tough doorways that all military wives face, but we also help each other through the doorways of life that all must face. It is the most amazing support system I have ever come across. I have made so many wonderful friends that have cried with me, prayed with me, & a few that aren't afraid to tell me when I'm going the wrong way. 

Speaking of going the wrong way... As with the doors we know we should go through, God also makes it very clear which ones we should NOT go through. There are times in life though when temptation gets the best of us & despite the dark surroundings & the clear warning posted right on the door, we go through anyway. Going through the wrong door may feel good at the moment, but it only leads to hurt & disappointment. 

However, thankfully through our glorious savior there is redemption! Even after choosing a wrong door God still shines His light of love on us & shows us the clear path He has designed for us. It still won't be an easy path--Jesus assured us of that--but, following His guidance assures us that He will be by our side every step of the way. 

What a great Lenten study this turned out to be as well--who knew?!?! I had such a great time exploring my own mind through this simple study of doorways. I had no idea the blessings that God would shine his light on simply photographing & writing about some doors. Sometimes sitting back & exploring the simple things in life is exactly where God is waiting to speak to you. He so often comes in the whisper after the storm, so make sure you are listening. I hope you are all enjoying this Lenten season & that you take a moment to look deep inside & find what God wants you to see or change as we walk to road to the blessed redemption of Christ.  

**All photos are property of MaggieLouPhotography. Please do NOT download, crop, or alter in any way. Thank you!** 

To see more of my work visit my website at www.MaggieLouPhotography.com or find me on FB at https://www.facebook.com/pages/MaggieLouPhotography/167245436690399.